DEAR FUTURE ELLE,

First, I love you. Second, you make me crazy. Certifiably crazy. I think part of the reason, is that you are ME. Scary. I have a first hand understanding of your thought process. I get it. I just have to figure out how to make the world big enough for both of us.

Remember when I said I love you? Well I do. Almost all of the time. We need to talk. It's about your stuffed dogs slash pillows. They are nasty. I'm not sure at what point they replaced your pillows... but they did. I just want to point out a few things to your future therapist, who is probably reading this right now.

1. Yes. This may very well be the moment that forever changed who Elle was to become. I understand that. And contrary to what she may be telling you- I feel bad. A little.

2. Yes. It is very easy (too easy) for me to get rid of things that seem to be cluttering up our life. Again... I'm a little sorry.

3. I have reasons for the things I do... usually.

4. The REASON that I am throwing away (yes... in the trash) Elle's beloved dogs is, in fact, for her own good.

5. Elle has had strep throat 26 times since those dogs became her pillows. 26 times. I do realize that she needs her tonsils out, and have scheduled an appointment with an ENT next month. BUT, her nasty, drooly, sleepy time, step germs being breathed on her "pillow" time after time with no washing in between can not be healthy. Come to think of it, even if she didn't have strep- that still doesn't seem healthy. Gross.

So Elle, you see... I really do have your best interest at heart. And I probably should foot the bill for some of your therapy... but not ALL of it. You have to own some of your own crazy. How bout I split the bill with you? 50/50?

Love,

Mom